So I was studying the logic of sampling today and I ran across an intersting bit of information that made me think back to a converastion rockstar and I had about the infinitude of God.  Regarding sampling, statisticians assume that the population being sampled is  inifinitly large and therefore "every sample is 0% of the  of the whole.  This might be a stretch and It could just simply mean I need to take a break from listiening to this lecture, but I wonder if it has any implications for our conception of God? Consider that God by definition must be an infinite. While J.P. Moreland goes into great lengths to discuss the concept of an actual infinite which I will not go into (primarily because rockstar and I already discussed it until our heads hurt).
If God is an infinite being then all that we can ever know about Him is equal to 0% of Him.
If God is love, than all that we can ever know about Love is equal to 0%.
If God is mercy and grace, compassion, humility, faithfulness, we can only ever know... 0%.

I forget where I read/heard this, (maybe driscoll?) but I remember someone saying that the gap between God and man is infinitely great. And so whether you're Billy Graham or the serial murderer who repented moments before execution, we might as well be in the same place. My original thought on the aforementioned comparison was to use Billy Graham and Satan or Ted Bundy, except, according to much of theology, salvation through acceptance of Christ allows us to bridge that infinite gap between us and God. Upon writing that, my first thought is: "If the gap is infinite, how is it bridged?" Perhaps because Christ, being God is also infinite? Maybe this post is just an excuse for me to take a break... and proof that my mind is melting... or maybe I just needed to write it down so I could come back to it later?

btw: My good friend scholar jon arrived in Korea a couple of weeks ago... He's been throwing up some pretty interesting posts. I encourage you to drop him a visit and check out the mind of someone experiencing Korea and all it has to offer for the very first time! Jon's Emmaus Road Blog

like i said.

So I attend church at a pretty cool place called Yoido.  Heard about it while I was in the states and so I decided to attend while I'm in Korea (and it's only 10 mins from my house).  I try to mix it up from time to time and attend the Korean service, but recently I've found myself attending the English service.  It's amazing how many people from different countries come and attend this church.  Today the Nigerian Ambassador dropped by with his wife.  And while I was going to take one of those "Handshake and Smile" pictures... I didn't have my camera with me and I felt a bit ridiculous saying.. "Okay Mr. Ambassador, smile for the handphone." Anyways, I snapped a couple quick ones... The guy in the black suit behind him is either his body guard/driver or his man servant. (Not quite sure)

...still working on the blog.. sorry for the mess...

Had a rough night, thought I'd sit down and put some thoughts to keyboard. Why is it that life is so hard? I mean, it's not that hard except that we have to deal with people. And if we didn't have to deal with people, I don't know how many of use would consider it worth living. Have you ever wondered if God was just playing a cruel joke on us? I mean think about it, we're creatures that crave and desire community more than probably any other animal in existence, and just about every problem we have, comes from the communities that we crave. Then again, I should probably point out that the highlighting moments of our lives also come from the communities that we live in. When friends gather at Peter Piper for a little shoot-out tourney or when two finally get engaged (it was only a matter of time), or even when you just get to share some late night chicken and laugh about swallowing gum (I guess you had to be there). Anyways, maybe it's not that cruel of a joke after all. Don't they say everything is relative? Perhaps we wouldn't recognize or appreciate the good aspects of the communities we live if we didn't have to occasionally, (or even daily) have to deal with the nonsense.

On to other things, going to visit family tomorrow, going to China in three weeks... Let the good times roll...

It’s been a pretty interesting year so far. From a new relationship to new friends; from interpersonal struggles to a pride check from law schools, it’s been a pretty crazy start. I spoke with a friend the other day, Ms. D., we haven’t really chatted in a while, but it was good to talk to her. It was interesting a question she posed, it went something along the lines of: What do we do when we feel like there’s way too much to do and so little time to do it. Isn’t that an interesting question. I suppose there was a time when I felt like everyone wondered that very same thing, however, over the years I’ve come to discover that there are the few, the “dreamers of day” that are the ones that must deal with such issues. For most others who “dream in the dusty recesses of their mind” life is easy going, with plenty of time to be bored, to have fun, to hang out.

I told Ms. D about a recent video podcast I listened to from Mark Driscoll. I’ve mentioned him before, but just incase this is your first run-in with him, let me give you some background. Driscoll is the pastor of the biggest church in Seattle and one of the fastest growing churches in the country: Mars Hill (not to be confused with Rob Bell’s Mars Hill). He’s a thirty something with a wife and five kids, looks like your average guy who has a firm pulse on pop culture. (He can be seen often sporting the latest from Hurley and the occasional funny “Jesus” t-shirts) He is one of the top 100 most influential pastors in America and His church is the 2nd most innovative church in the country. Mars Hill is nearly 10,000 strong, made up of a lot of “single white twenty somethings who live with their moms, have Starwars blankets, can’t commit to their girlfriend and can often be found catching the latest Star Trek marathon” (paraphrasing Driscoll’s own words). He’s currently doing a series called “Religion Saves and 9 other myths” where Mars Hill received over 300,000 votes for what questions Driscoll should address. In the last message, Driscoll was asked to address the issue in Christianity he has the most challenge with. The idea of GRACE.

In the message Driscoll talks about some of his life goals: write 6-7 books a year, publish 300 books during his life; help plant 1,000 churches, he preaches some 5 sermons a week, travels extensively, and at the same time is a father and husband. He states that he struggles with how he’s going to accomplish any of that because whenever he looks at his tomorrow, it’s overwhelming.

I’ve felt that way before, and often I find myself in the same predicament. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t spend Thurs-Sat of last week writing 150 pages of a book like Driscoll, but I would propose that our goals are equally lofty. So back to Ms. D. I’ve thought about it for for a week now, how to answer her question. I’ve attempted to look at it in the most rational mindset I know how to. And no matter how many different ways I try to cut it, it seems to come out the same: You’ve got to sacrifice. Let’s assume that’s the “right” answer, so next question: What do you sacrifice? As I look through history and more recently, I see many people who have sacrificed a great deal. Whether it’s Einstein, Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Brittany Spears... I can hear some of you laughing at my list, but let me propose something. Each one of these people, in an effort to attain their deepest desires, has sacrificed. Einstein who married his cousin was it? And Brittany who’s been in rehab how many times and lost custody of her children. And in the name of what? For what? Those of you who know me on a more personal level, know that I struggled with this at age 20 while owning and operating a business, working a full-time job, attending school full-time and still not seeing ends meet. I find myself in another one of “those” situations. This semester I’m taking just over 30 credit hours (yes, 30), tutoring English several times a week, helping to lead a weekly bible study in Korean (and no, I’m not fluent enough to read the bible in Korean), growing a new relationship, trying to visit family from different cities every couple of weeks or so, getting everything ready to start law school in the fall, maintain and build on my existing relationships with friends back home, experience cultural life in Korea, and maybe even visit China for a few days. Needless to say, most days I don’t think I can do it all. However, I found a bit of hope in the words Driscoll eloquently delivered so I’ll point those of you in a similar situation, in that direction.

Watch the Video Here...


ORMars Hill Video Link

iTunes Podcast Link

It's been a few days since I got back to Korea and things are going.. School is going to be intense this semester, but what did I expect? I have to leave for school in a few minutes but I thought I'd throw out one of the goals I've set for myself this new year, READ MORE BOOKS. So here's a quick list of books that I've got lined up and even a couple that I've finished:

Smith Wigglesworth on Power To Serve
Sacred Pathways
The Art of Possibility
Seeking the Face of God
Rules for Revolutionaries
Einstein: The Life and Times
The Screwtape Letters
Mere Christianity
Cries of the Heart
Desiring God
Waking the Dead
Manifest Destiny
Classical Apologetics
Blue Like Jazz
I, Isaac take Thee Rebecca
Come Thirsty
In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day
The Knowledge of the Holy
My Utmost for His Highest
Practicing the Presence, The Letters of Brother Lawrence
The Five Love Languages for Men
The Five Love Languages for Singles
Intercultural Communication in Contexts
Technical Communication Today
and...
The Bible...

Now these are just the books I brought with me to Korea... I figure I've got about 6 months to knock out this list ;) I've keep you updated on how it goes and you can check out http://worthitswords.blogspot.com for periodic updates and info about the books my friends and I are reading...

Blogging for the new year.

Today is December 31, 2007, it’s a Monday and I woke up at 7:30AM. I must say that I feel particularly different about this new year, different than I’ve ever felt. Over the past two days, especially yesterday after hitting up Dr. Fredrick K. C. Price’s church with Elliott, I had an intense urge for solitude. I was slightly torn because I feel like I have a commitment to the guys (rockstar, big love, and bradly) to stay engaged and interact with them during this road trip. At the same time, I feel an unprecedented desire to plan, reflect, and consider. This morning rockstar and I woke up early and headed to the beach. It was a the nicest of mornings, the weather was perfect, the beach was virtually empty, except the dedicated surfers out catching the occasional ridable waves, and the sky was blue. (At least as blue as it can be in Los Angeles) I’ve been dealing with two major issues this year in my personal life: the Sovereignty of God, and change. The first, which I started blogging on before, is something that goes hand in hand with the second.

As we sat on the beach, eating our bagels and drinking our respective favorite Starbucks concoctions and talking; the topic of our futures and the current moment and places in our lives saturated the conversation.

I can’t help feeling like so much has happened this year. As I sit here now in our room, big love, rockstar and I, all blogging while bradly is fighting off his cold, I can’t help but seeing a year full of very high highs and heart wrenching lows. The roller coaster of events, I could not have predicted in my most wildest of imaginations; not just me, but even within the “circle of trust” that I consider those dearest to me, we were all taken for a ride. ... For the first time in my life as I look at this past year, I can say that I feel a sense of movement. My first choice of words was “accomplishment” but I’m a bit hesitant because I don’t know that I feel like I’ve necessarily accomplished anything. But I am quite certain that I have started. For those of you who know me, I’ve always been the mover and shaker. Always doing, moving, working. Isn’t it strange that with everything I’ve done and always seem to be doing, that everything we all seem to be doing, so often we don’t make any headway, no achievement, no advance. We seem to accomplish so many things and yet can’t say that we’ve made any progress of worth. 2007, while by many standards I haven’t accomplished much if anything, I feel like I’ve made movement.

The second area I’m dealing with, change, is the area in which I see the most movement. I’ve been dealing with a lot of change this year. Applying to law schools, two and a half months in DC, mending broken friendships, changes in family, four months in Korea, and immense change within the “circle of trust.” I can’t say exactly when I started feeling it, but it seems like one day I looked up and there it was: CHANGE. As rockstar and I were talking at the beach, we couldn’t help but chuckle at some of the situations we’ve been involved in this past year, and while many were and are still very difficult to close, they seem to be necessary to teach us. For me, the biggest lesson I learned this year, might be simply: I need to change. I wish I could say that many years ago I had this realization, but I can’t. No, it was only in the past 12 months, through a number of unpredictable events that I found myself accepting of, perhaps even longing to be changed. Having just realized this at the age of nearly 27 (or 28 if if we’re discussing my Korean age) I realize I have so far to go, and while my movement in 2007 has been measurable the distance that lies ahead seems just the opposite.

Another first, I can say with all certainty, that I am uncertain of what 2008 holds for me. And at the same time, I am more confident of 2008 than I have ever been of any upcoming year. The “ifs” of 2008 seem daunting so I’ll begin this new year with one of my resolutions and areas of development... WORRY LESS, TRUST MORE...

Happy New Year... God Bless

It's 1:30PM and Christmas is half way over. It'll be another year before this day is here again. I was talking with a friend from Korea last night, and for some reason I had a thought. How cool would it be to one Christmas, charter an aircraft and start at the international date line and from there fly around the world and for once, enjoy 48 hours of Christmas... My friend reacted by asking me why in the world I was talking about that and why I decided to mention that in the middle of our conversation... I can't say that last night I knew why; today I might have a little glimpse.

Wonder. There is no other day in our calendar that expresses the idea and concept of wonder than Christmas. We live lives filled with schedules, tasks, alarm clocks, commitments and daily routines. So often we jump from static day to static day without taking a moment to sit in awe, to sit in wonder. Wonder lives all around us, from taking a moment to sit and be overwhelmed by the vast night sky and countless stars that were placed with intent and purpose, to meeting friends, old and new and then just sitting back being in awe, practically paralyzed at the amazing set of events that brought us together. I was talking to Brad yesterday while we were running errands and we just started thinking about the sets of circumstances that brought us together and brought us to where we are today. We talked about rockstar and I and the no less than a hundred specific and unique events that all had to happen in order for us to be friends. For Loui and Vic and the sovereign set of events that not only brought them into friendship but even recently into marriage. And even how I recently made a new friend in Korea and found out that some 27 years ago we were born in the same city in Korea. Then a few months ago, through a crazy set of hundreds of specific actions we were both unaware of, ran across each others' paths and are now building a remarkable friendship.

Joe mentioned in his blog that he's never quite gotten used to the "Phoenix Christmas" and I can't say that I have either. I'm staring out the living room window and watching a pair of green palm trees swaying in the 65 degree breeze, with a blue sky in the background and a swimming pool in the foreground. Hmmm...

I'm learning so much about myself everyday, and for me it's a difficult process. I feel challenged, sometimes moment to moment, to discover that about myself I have yet to know, to develop those traits which already exist in me, and starve out that "nothing good" that lives in me. And while I can confidently say that I have very little idea what I will look like 5 years, I am more so confident that the person I am on my way to becoming is fearfully and wonderfully made.

I got a text message from a friend of mine the other day; it was his 26th birthday.  The message: I feel so old.  How could I respond?  Lately, I seem to be the vent for several of my friends who have been awakened to the fact that they're getting "older" and I'm already there.  Most of their venting and uncertainty stems around the fact that they don't know what they want to do with their lives, or they've woken up one morning and found out that they've graduated school, been working in a mundane job and don't know where the road they're on will lead.  For me it's a bit different.  I don't wake up in the morning wondering what the road holds ahead or if I'll be ready for it.  For me, the challenge is not what will I do but more how will I do it all?  I was talking to rockstar the other day and couldn't help thinking about how any one of the dozens of things I want to do could consume a lifetime.  Do I have to chose?  A career?  Serving God?  Having a wife?  Raising a family?  Caring for friends and family?  Spending time with loved ones?  Seeing the world? To anyone of these I could devote my entire life and find not enough time... Dare I tackle them all?  
Those of you who know me, know I often struggle with priorities. I want to change the world, and yet I'm uncertain of how to go about it. At times I'm 70% sure, other times I'm not sure at all.  Perhaps it's old age, or perhaps it's wisdom (which in essence is old age, but an easier way of dealing with it.)  I think my priorities are setting themselves, and for the first time, I feel like I might hit that 80% mark of surety.

So I'm at work right now, writing this little note. I was going to wait until I got home in an hour or so, but I wanted to write it "in the moment."

I'm sure many have heard the adage "…the only thing constant is change…" I think the most amazing thing about change is that most of the time we don't realize it's going on. We see ourselves a particular way, in our mind's eye. We feel we look a particular way, act a particular.. and then one day something happens that prods us to take a moment and revisit ourselves. Now whether such an event is life changing, like the passing on of a dear friend, or something small like an email from a loved one, they can both significant.

I received an email from my mom today… actually about 20 mins ago. It was simple, maybe two sentences, I was skimming it while listening to music, chatting with a co-worker and making a telephone call… and in all that, time froze. For a simple moment, I didn't know what to do, emotions welled up inside and I actually started to tear up. This was my moment for reflection…

I had a friend ask me a week or so ago whether I saw her as much younger than myself… and by "younger" she meant in some derogatory way. Initially I shrugged and said no. However, that question has played through my mind countless times since then. I find myself asking "what makes me different than the person that's 4 or 6 or even 8 years younger?" My initial answer is simple.. because I'm older.
But deep down, what's the separation? Wisdom? Life experiences? Perhaps it's this time of reflection? While I can't speak generally I'll speak for myself for a bit.

I think something that separates me, at least partially, is knowing that I'm not perfect, and I'll never be. I know that's a shock to many, it was to me. I am okay that I'm not perfect… And humility begins when we realize that there is so much greater than myself… and that the significance of our loved ones is greater than our own. Maybe the biggest difference is simply the amount of time I spend reflecting… I want to know that I'm growing in a significant measurable way… I want to deposit significantly into those that need it most; whether significantly means sharing with and comforting a friend, buying a meal, or simply saying God Bless.

(sigh) I think more than anything, the biggest change in my own life, is that I am slowly beginning to get a glimpse of the power of simple words. Love, Friend, Humility, Thank you, Confidence, Hero… and while it wasn't always the case.. I am in increasingly in amazement at the thought of my parents. While not perfect, I don't know that there are a better pair of loving, caring, God fearing people…

With that.. I close this disjointed serious of words and thoughts.