Blogging for the new year.

Today is December 31, 2007, it’s a Monday and I woke up at 7:30AM. I must say that I feel particularly different about this new year, different than I’ve ever felt. Over the past two days, especially yesterday after hitting up Dr. Fredrick K. C. Price’s church with Elliott, I had an intense urge for solitude. I was slightly torn because I feel like I have a commitment to the guys (rockstar, big love, and bradly) to stay engaged and interact with them during this road trip. At the same time, I feel an unprecedented desire to plan, reflect, and consider. This morning rockstar and I woke up early and headed to the beach. It was a the nicest of mornings, the weather was perfect, the beach was virtually empty, except the dedicated surfers out catching the occasional ridable waves, and the sky was blue. (At least as blue as it can be in Los Angeles) I’ve been dealing with two major issues this year in my personal life: the Sovereignty of God, and change. The first, which I started blogging on before, is something that goes hand in hand with the second.

As we sat on the beach, eating our bagels and drinking our respective favorite Starbucks concoctions and talking; the topic of our futures and the current moment and places in our lives saturated the conversation.

I can’t help feeling like so much has happened this year. As I sit here now in our room, big love, rockstar and I, all blogging while bradly is fighting off his cold, I can’t help but seeing a year full of very high highs and heart wrenching lows. The roller coaster of events, I could not have predicted in my most wildest of imaginations; not just me, but even within the “circle of trust” that I consider those dearest to me, we were all taken for a ride. ... For the first time in my life as I look at this past year, I can say that I feel a sense of movement. My first choice of words was “accomplishment” but I’m a bit hesitant because I don’t know that I feel like I’ve necessarily accomplished anything. But I am quite certain that I have started. For those of you who know me, I’ve always been the mover and shaker. Always doing, moving, working. Isn’t it strange that with everything I’ve done and always seem to be doing, that everything we all seem to be doing, so often we don’t make any headway, no achievement, no advance. We seem to accomplish so many things and yet can’t say that we’ve made any progress of worth. 2007, while by many standards I haven’t accomplished much if anything, I feel like I’ve made movement.

The second area I’m dealing with, change, is the area in which I see the most movement. I’ve been dealing with a lot of change this year. Applying to law schools, two and a half months in DC, mending broken friendships, changes in family, four months in Korea, and immense change within the “circle of trust.” I can’t say exactly when I started feeling it, but it seems like one day I looked up and there it was: CHANGE. As rockstar and I were talking at the beach, we couldn’t help but chuckle at some of the situations we’ve been involved in this past year, and while many were and are still very difficult to close, they seem to be necessary to teach us. For me, the biggest lesson I learned this year, might be simply: I need to change. I wish I could say that many years ago I had this realization, but I can’t. No, it was only in the past 12 months, through a number of unpredictable events that I found myself accepting of, perhaps even longing to be changed. Having just realized this at the age of nearly 27 (or 28 if if we’re discussing my Korean age) I realize I have so far to go, and while my movement in 2007 has been measurable the distance that lies ahead seems just the opposite.

Another first, I can say with all certainty, that I am uncertain of what 2008 holds for me. And at the same time, I am more confident of 2008 than I have ever been of any upcoming year. The “ifs” of 2008 seem daunting so I’ll begin this new year with one of my resolutions and areas of development... WORRY LESS, TRUST MORE...

Happy New Year... God Bless

Another good night’s sleep! This time however, I had some help. So I was finally able to convince my grandmother that I really only need about half the amount of food that she’s been giving me. So last night I got a half bowl of rice. A bit after I finished eating my grandmother broke out two two-liter bottles of wine, one grape and one blackberry. She told me that I must have only had a half bowl of rice because I was saving room for wine! About three liters later, I knew I was in for a good night’s sleep. Fast forward to today. We did a bit more sight seeing today, we went to the home of a great ancient korean “guy” He is credited as being one of the wisest men to have ever lived in korea, he’s also on the 5,000 won. Then we went to the beach. Korea’s second largest beach has hundreds of thousands of visitors during the spring and summer months.
If you’ve noticed, my digital camera ran out of juice yesterday and so I’ve been trying to keep up using the ol iPhone camera. As I’m typing this I haven’t had a chance to see the pictures but I’m hoping they’ll come out okay. To give you an idea of how many people travel during Chuseok, my uncle drove from Gangnun to Seoul yesterday and the normally two and a half hour trip, took just over seven hours! My older aunt, who lives in Suwon, was on the road for almost 8 hours! (a trip that normally take just under three). We’re hoping that when we leave here in about an hour or so, it’ll only take us 5 hours or so because the traffic should be quite a bit lighter. By the way, the average speed on the freeway yesterday, 20kph! (14MPH!!!!).

On a side note, it’s been a full two and half days since I’ve been on the internet and had sort of contact with the “foreigners.” I am starting to confirm my original thoughts on homesickness. When talking to my friends and relatives, I’ve expressed very little homesickness and basically explained that oddly enough I haven’t really missed much. As I mentioned before, of course I miss things and people, but the type of depression that normally sets in when people suddenly change environments hasn’t even started to creep up on me. This week has helped to confirm that although much of the lack of culture shock may be from the extensive moving I did while growing up, much of it must still be attributed to technology. Being able to chat on the phone, IM, and video chat/skype with people makes the world seem like a much smaller place.

Well, if all goes well, tonight I’ll be able to start uploading this enormous 5 part blog and get the pictures up for you dedicated readers. Until then, I’m going to take a quick nap, drive for five hours, take the subway for about an hour, take a shower and get online!