Don't take this too personal, I mean unless it applies to you, then take it how you will. Let me start by saying that I'm not writing this from any position of authority or a pulpit from which to glare down and point my finger... I simply wanted to climb on my little soap box today and yell for a minute so here goes...

What are friends for? I mean, what is the true definition of a friend? While I haven't committed to a full meaning of the idea of friendship, I feel like I'm well on my way. Jesus said that there are such friends that stick closer than family. I think that there are two parts to friendship and as the theme of Married with Children states.. "you can't have one without the other" First, there's the part that makes you feel all giddy inside, you know, the part that people most often dream about when they think of best friends. This is the "marshmallowlly goodness" of friendships. It's the having common interests, having someone there to talk after a death in the family or a glowing first date. It's having someone who plans your surprise birthday parties or writes you a farewell card that you leave on your desk and read when you need to be inspired. It's having someone there to smoke a cigar with just because you didn't want to be at home, or having someone to laugh at you and give you nicknames like "baby huey." Then there's the "burnt outer crust" of friendships. These are the parts that most people don't enjoy, as a matter of fact they avoid them all together. This is the part when it hurts to be a friend; the part of true self sacrifice, the part where unlike most of our daily routine, we take a moment and put aside our goals and priorities and make the friend our only priority.

I've never been good at the "burnt outer crust" but rockstar always has. I was talking with him today about a particular situation that brought me heartache. While often I think that he and I are so different occasionally something simple yet profound happens and it reminds we why we've been friends for well over a decade.

It's true that we're more and more becoming a world of I's My's and Me's, and that hurts me. Why do we expect to find anything, especially in the dealings with another broken human being, with no burnt outer crust? It amazes me. I wish that on occasion we would forget about the importance of ourselves and our feelings and for that moment give to a friend. As I was telling rockstar today, if I'm struggling through something and he's my friend, he'll do whatever is within his power to help me, even if it hurts him at the same time. Too often, we call ourselves friends and yet are not willing to hurt with the other person, instead, we simply tell the other person to continue to hurt for our sake.

On a high note, I just got a phone call... ;)

"Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling... of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? - c.s. lewis.

So it’s 1:36am right now, Phoenix time (5:36pm Seoul time). It’s weird that I have to clarify that. I’ll be on a plane in 18 hours beginning the first leg of my journey to Korea. I’ve been slightly concerned over the past couple of days that I haven’t felt nervous or even anxious about going to Korea. Looking back, I can’t say that I’ve felt much of anything regarding Korea.

Tonight several of my best friends came over to wish me off. It was a good night filled with memories, laughing, a bit of Buck’s Pizza (of course!) poker, cigars and adult beverages. As always rockstar let me win during poker but hey, I’ll take all the freebees he gives me. Lord knows I’ve lost enough money to him over the months.

After poker several of us went outside and chatted it up while smoking some of the best cigars on the planet. (The Edge ~Patel) It wasn’t until everyone was leaving that I finally started to feel a bit anxious about leaving later today. I thought back to earlier today when rockstar and I were talking about a mutual friend of ours, and how she moved across the country without a support system and now can’t wait to come home. I guess I’ve never thought about not having a support system in k-town. Hmmm, I suppose I figured I could always call, that there’d always be an open ear if I needed anything.

It’s been almost a month since I left DC, feels like yesterday. I still keep in touch with several of the friends and I can’t wait to see them all for New Years. And yet I can’t help but think that so much can change over the coming months. I notice that I hold on to moments. Perhaps we all do? But when I look back at DC and even tonight my mind captures freeze frames, I can see the picture, hear the sounds, feel the emotions of the moment. I suppose my biggest concern (if any) about going away is that those snapshots will not be an accurate representation of how things will be when I get back…

All in all, I’m glad to travel, I embrace the opportunity to become an “international man of mystery” ☺ or as Steph put it: “secret asian man!” And while I know there’s a chance that my snapshots will not be true to me, the optimist whispers of the greater memories that will be forged when we are able to go our separate ways for a season and come back to each other, cultured, developed, tested, and triumphant in our individual battles and can celebrate our victories together…