Don't take this too personal, I mean unless it applies to you, then take it how you will. Let me start by saying that I'm not writing this from any position of authority or a pulpit from which to glare down and point my finger... I simply wanted to climb on my little soap box today and yell for a minute so here goes...

What are friends for? I mean, what is the true definition of a friend? While I haven't committed to a full meaning of the idea of friendship, I feel like I'm well on my way. Jesus said that there are such friends that stick closer than family. I think that there are two parts to friendship and as the theme of Married with Children states.. "you can't have one without the other" First, there's the part that makes you feel all giddy inside, you know, the part that people most often dream about when they think of best friends. This is the "marshmallowlly goodness" of friendships. It's the having common interests, having someone there to talk after a death in the family or a glowing first date. It's having someone who plans your surprise birthday parties or writes you a farewell card that you leave on your desk and read when you need to be inspired. It's having someone there to smoke a cigar with just because you didn't want to be at home, or having someone to laugh at you and give you nicknames like "baby huey." Then there's the "burnt outer crust" of friendships. These are the parts that most people don't enjoy, as a matter of fact they avoid them all together. This is the part when it hurts to be a friend; the part of true self sacrifice, the part where unlike most of our daily routine, we take a moment and put aside our goals and priorities and make the friend our only priority.

I've never been good at the "burnt outer crust" but rockstar always has. I was talking with him today about a particular situation that brought me heartache. While often I think that he and I are so different occasionally something simple yet profound happens and it reminds we why we've been friends for well over a decade.

It's true that we're more and more becoming a world of I's My's and Me's, and that hurts me. Why do we expect to find anything, especially in the dealings with another broken human being, with no burnt outer crust? It amazes me. I wish that on occasion we would forget about the importance of ourselves and our feelings and for that moment give to a friend. As I was telling rockstar today, if I'm struggling through something and he's my friend, he'll do whatever is within his power to help me, even if it hurts him at the same time. Too often, we call ourselves friends and yet are not willing to hurt with the other person, instead, we simply tell the other person to continue to hurt for our sake.

On a high note, I just got a phone call... ;)

"Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling... of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for? - c.s. lewis.