It's not often I have to press for words, today however, is one of those days. I just returned from The United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, followed by a hosted brown bag discussion on our initial reactions…

I woke up this morning in a somber mood; I was to experience one of histories greatest marked atrocities, The Holocaust. As the time drew near to begin our trip, I felt nauseous and overwhelmed, I still feel that way now. It is difficult to describe with any clarity. Only two hours after leaving the museum there is not much I can tell you about it, there are flashes, pictures in my mind, and emotions stirring in me, but I cannot seem to express them.

The first thing that struck me in the museum is a quote from General Eisenhower:
"The things I saw beggar description...The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were...overpowering...I made the visit deliberately in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to 'propaganda.'"

In a day where the details of the Holocaust are in dispute by the radical hate filled, I found this first quote appropriate.

In the museum, there was a rail car, of the exact make and model that was used to haul thousands of Jews to various concentration camps. I learned that up to half of the people being transported in these cars would not make it alive to their destination; most of these were children and the elderly. The exhibit was designed so that you could walk through the rail car. As I approached the car, I was taken back by eerie sense of horror that emanated from the car. In no way was there anything about the car that specifically told the gruesome story, yet this replica still screamed of the atrocities that had been committed. With a deep breath I forced myself to walk through. Standing in the box car, the silence was deafening. On either side of the car there were small barred openings, images of literally hundreds of people who had been crammed and forced into these cars flashed across my mind…

In our brown bag, Andy, or the closet as he's known by the EPA interns, asked a question that lured my thoughts down an interesting path I had visited before.

"Perhaps this question is more existential then we want to address in this environment but, why do you think we ignore such evil? Do we just deny that evil exists?"

One of the fellow interns responded by appealing to the argument of desensitization. "It's because we see so much killing, it's not a big deal anymore. I mean my friends and I even play this video game where there are four of us trying to shoot each other…"

Maybe this was a suitable answer? My thought went in a slightly different direction.

I referenced a few articles, one by the New York Times which stated "…it is not the sick eroticism or the unspeakable brutality that is important in the Nazi saga; it is the mind-set that drove supposedly average people to commit and condone such atrocities." What are the implications that "supposedly average people" committed these evil acts? I don't know that we as individuals want to develop that question for it seemingly would force the acknowledgement of such evil in all average people, namely ourselves. It would necessitate that we examine ourselves daily if not moment to moment to check our motivations and ambitions, the purpose for which we work and live. Imagine if everyone was willing to concede that such a strain of evil existed in all of us? It would shortly become our main priority to place checks on ourselves to ensure that this beast not be given a foothold…

I do not process emotional substance very quickly, I am positive in the ensuing days and weeks I will have a plethora of things to consider and contemplate… Perhaps I will put finger to keyboard again lest I forget these emotions that bombard me…


Hall of Remembrance.


Elie Wiesel
Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.

Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.

Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never.